Today is my 13th wedding annivesary. 13 years ago I said, through tears and smiles, “I do” to my love . I first met him in 1997, we were introduced by a mutual friend, and he stole my heart with one smile. It wasn’t love at first sight but it was definitely lust. It took 7 years to get to the wedding and I love him just as much, if not more, than I did all those years ago.
I’m such a soppy heart but… I do love him.
My presents to him, as I mentioned the other day were a pair of silver lace chantilly cufflinks, a pair of flashing shoelaces and a vibrating prostate massager.
Amusingly, he got me a beautiful necklace from the same collection – a silver lace chantilly pendant. And some lacy negligee.
Lucy got us these beautiful black lace candle holders, she got me a pair of silver and lace earrings, and Jack a pair of new workboots.
Jack’s son has booked me and Jack a weekend-break away in Nottingham which is famous for its lace.
Early this evening Jack and I are going out for a meal where he has promised to wear a suit and his new cufflinks. Then later tonight I suspect much fun with new toys for the three of us.
It almost makes up not being able to get down to Cardiff this afternoon to see my Blue and Blacks play the Carmarthen Quins. Instead, because the DVD jumped out at me when we were packing them, we’re curled up watching CSI: Las Vegas. All the way back to season one with my love for Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle. It’s pretty dated now but still very enjoyable. Not a bad way to spend an afternoon at all.
Polyamory seems to be one of those topics that a lot of people have many preconceived notions about – a lot of which are completely wrong. You will probably already be forming an image in your mind of what my life is like based on the fact that I’m not monogamous.
I can tell you now that I am not having group sex or mad orgies.
My life does not revolve around sex – yes, I enjoy it and have a high sex drive but that is not related to polyamory.
I’m not cheating on anyone or sleeping around behind anyone’s back.
I don’t have sex with everyone I meet.
I don’t have an open relationship.
I’m not a swinger or into partner swapping
are there poly relationships like this? Yes, of course – and many many many more variations as well.
I have been married to my husband, Jack, for almost 13 years and we’ve been together for 18. We have a girlfriend, Lucy, and she’s been with us for 8 years. So you can forget any notion that I have commitment issues. There was nothing missing in our relationship before Lucy joined us, never a sense of incompleteness; Lucy added an extra dynamic, an extra layer that we didn’t know was even possible.
Jack and Lucy were engaged in a BDSM relationship for a few months – a non-sexual relationship at that. That’s a whole other dynamic to our relationship that isn’t pertinent to poly and can be discussed at another point. We had a few threesomes during that time and I also watched them play. I still remember the day Jack sat down with me, serious face on and said “You’ve got something on your mind, it’s about Lucy and if I know you, I know what you’re thinking so just come out and tell me so I can tell you you’re right.” And I told him I thought I was falling for her. And he was too. We sat down with Lucy and talked about things and started dating. A few months later she moved in with us.
I am in a closed, poly, triad. There has never been any talk of bringing a fourth person in, or of any of us having a relationship with another person outside of our group.
If there’s anything you want to have clarification on or are simply just curious – please ask me and the chances are I will answer.
But, really, the main thing is that we’re no different than any straight, monogamous couple – it’s just that there’s three of us, rather than two. The one thing I can tell you is that I love both of them fiercely and cannot imagine my life without either of them in it
I opened up this post an entry page to write a thoughtful entry about polyamory and my experiences of it vs people’s misconceptions. Something similar to my post about my bisexuality. I got as far as writing “I am polyamorous” but that was a couple of hours ago and apparently before I was able to get any further I fell asleep.
I’ve woken up to find myself stretched out along the couch, my head in Jack’s lap and two cats asleep on me. Jack is grumbling about the crossword he’s doing and playing with my hair. The dog’s asleep on his feet. Lucy is curled up in the armchair watching videos on youtube.
I do still intend to write that post but not right now because I’m about to head to bed. I just wanted to share our current scene of domestic bliss because it makes me so happy. I am an incredibly lucky woman to have Jack & Lucy in my life and I love them both so much.
It’s all very rock & roll here in the Anderson household.
I spent most of the day napping, painkillers making me drowsy – joined at various points by one or more cats and/or dogs. At no point were husband or girlfriend invited, I’m sadly still hurting too much for that. Napping with either/both of them tends to be less napping and more… ahh what was that hilarious term I heard yesterday? Oh, I don’t recall but there’s generally not much napping to be had! They understand but still pout at me.
Friday nights are normally date nights and we tend to go out for a meal and then to the cinema because we’re all big film buffs. I’m nowhere near mobile enough on crutches for that right now which is disappointing because I was looking forward to seeing Transformers: The Last Knight. Instead we ordered pizza in, stuck Ant-Man in the DVD player and had a few rocking games of Monopoly.
All that excitement has worn me out so I’m back up in bed (one cat, one dog) listening to music, reading both your posts and my book, although I don’t think it’ll be long before sleep claims me again