Cats & Bondage

Not that I ever used it much, but I deleted my Tumblr earlier this evening. They have every right to manage the content on their service, but I don’t have to agree with ridiculous, arbitrary, sexist, and parochial standards.

Jack won ‘best husband’ award this afternoon appearing at my office door with flowers and then taking me out to lunch. A naughty glass of wine and pulled pork sub was exactly what my lunchtime needed and seeing him always brightens the day. He’s still using the cane but he’s moving much better than he was last week. You can definitely tell he’s feeling better – he’s bored sitting around at home all day!

Pasta is currently simmering away and I’ve got no plans for this evening. There’s a cat trying to get my attention, batting at my hands as I type.

Speaking of cats, I read this article the other day that claims – and I wish I was joking – that owning a cat contributes to people being aroused by sadomasochism because they’ve contracted toxoplasmosis, which is ‘linked to sexual arousal by fear, violence and danger in humans’. Yes, that’s right, we’re kinky because we have a brain parasite caused by cat faeces.

Please excuse me while I have a moment of hysterical laughter. There was me thinking I got into BDSM because my husband (ok, he wasn’t my husband at the time but nevertheless) asked me to spank him, because he knew it turned him on – something he’d known since his teens. Turned out it was something I really enjoyed – although I’ve always owned cats. And he’d never owned one until we moved in together.

Repeat after me – correlation is not causation.
Although, in the interest of fairness, I haven’t clicked through to read the actual study in the Journal of Evolutionary Psychology, only the article that refers to it.

But, of course, there has to be something wrong with us to enjoy kinky sex. (And I wish I had an eye-rolling smiley gif to put here!)

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Stupid husbands, ruined routines and roast dinners

My husband is a stupid, stubborn idioMy husband is a stupid, stubborn idiot. God knows I love him but he can infuriating!

We are very strong on routine around here, it helps with Lucy’s mental health issues and our Sunday routine starts with Jack & Lucy walking the dogs down to the newsagents, buying the Sunday newspapers and walking back again. It’s about a two and a half mile round trip and takes them around an hour. I have a slow morning then make us all a full English breakfast which we eat sitting around the breakfast bar, reading the papers. We can be very domestic at times.

Despite having been somewhat less mobile over the last week, Jack was very insistent that he did the walk this morning. He did acquiesce to using a cane at least and I know the dogs will protect him – they’re properly trained and he’s their alpha.

They’d been gone almost an hour and a half (and I was starting to worry) when I get a phone-call – it had taken them all that time to just GET to the shop and Jack was admitting he couldn’t walk back so would I drive down and pick them up.

As tempting as it was to punish him, he was in pain and miserable. So his punishment was to be left alone downstairs while Lucy and I indulged in Sunday playtime. We were nice and loud too, made sure he knew exactly what he was missing out on. I must admit I was annoyed though; I had plans for him but they can wait.

(He will be getting a proper punishment when he’s not in so much pain, mark my words. Worrying me like that!)

This afternoon, he was sulky, horny and still in pain so I was gentle on him. We did manage to keep to our usual Sunday afternoon routine though. The three of us played some Trivial Pursuit and I happily won, though it was a close game. Lucy is now cooking us a nice roast beef dinner and that combined with the raspberry chocolate brownies I made this afternoon… the house smells amazing.

I’m cuddled up with Jack who’s relaxing after partaking some… shall we say herbal pain relief. I took a hit or two as well so we’re nicely relaxed. Lucy will be joining us in a moment, dinner is basically done and it’s almost time for Doctor Who.t. God knows I love him but he can infuriating!

We are very strong on routine around here, it helps with Lucy’s mental health issues and our Sunday routine starts with Jack & Lucy walking the dogs down to the newsagents, buying the Sunday newspapers and walking back again. It’s about a two and a half mile round trip and takes them around an hour. I have a slow morning then make us all a full English breakfast which we eat sitting around the breakfast bar, reading the papers. We can be very domestic at times.

Despite having been somewhat less mobile over the last week, Jack was very insistent that he did the walk this morning. He did acquiesce to using a cane at least and I know the dogs will protect him – they’re properly trained and he’s their alpha.

They’d been gone almost an hour and a half (and I was starting to worry) when I get a phone-call – it had taken them all that time to just GET to the shop and Jack was admitting he couldn’t walk back so would I drive down and pick them up.

As tempting as it was to punish him, he was in pain and miserable. So his punishment was to be left alone downstairs while Lucy and I indulged in Sunday playtime. We were nice and loud too, made sure he knew exactly what he was missing out on. I must admit I was annoyed though; I had plans for him but they can wait.

(He will be getting a proper punishment when he’s not in so much pain, mark my words. Worrying me like that!)

This afternoon, he was sulky, horny and still in pain so I was gentle on him. We did manage to keep to our usual Sunday afternoon routine though. The three of us played some Trivial Pursuit and I happily won, though it was a close game. Lucy is now cooking us a nice roast beef dinner and that combined with the raspberry chocolate brownies I made this afternoon… the house smells amazing.

I’m cuddled up with Jack who’s relaxing after partaking some… shall we say herbal pain relief. I took a hit or two as well so we’re nicely relaxed. Lucy will be joining us in a moment, dinner is basically done and it’s almost time for Doctor Who.

Wedding Anniversary Gifts

In case anyone isn’t aware, there is a BDSM element to my relationship. Jack and Lucy are both my submissives sexually. The following statement/question kind of needs this preface or it would have just seemed like an incredible bizarre thing to say!

It’s perfectly acceptable to buy your husband a vibrating prostate massager and cock ring for your wedding anniversary, right? I’ve seen this online that says the smooth girth of a dildo, with the revolving movement of fingers! This prostate massager provides unique pleasure with 3 buzzing speeds, 4 patterns of pulsation, and 3 gyration functions. Two motors send power surging into your ass and pressing against your taint.

It’s 6.75 inches in total length, 5 inches insertable, 1.5 inches in diameter. And, really, that sounds like a LOT of fun – for all of us 😉
I have so many ideas that could involve this toy

I’ve also got him some cufflinks – French Chantilly lace encased in a layer of clear plexiglas and set in sterling silver. It’s our 13th anniversary and traditionally that’s lace.

And a pair of light-up shoe laces because the man is still 4 years old at heart!